Appreciation

My daughter muttered, "Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou" on Saturday when I was going over her allowance on Greenlight. Her mom was sitting right there.

I think I'm the only person she would curse at.

She knew it was bad, because she didn't say it loudly. But she didn't care, because she kept repeating it until I called her out.

Something inside me broke, because her honesty revealed the truth. That what I saw as sacrifice for the last ten years, placing her at the center of my day over any career, friendships or personal interests – she saw it as a weakness. She sees me as someone she can curse at. That hurts.

So when someone doesn't respect or appreciate what I'm doing, I stop doing it. I'm stopping breakfasts, treats, jokes, art discussions, discussions overall. Because she not only takes it for granted, she sees these things as normal, as deserving. And if I don't stop providing these things, she will turn into a person that does not appreciate the people and things that she has.

So in another way, this pulling back from my daughter is another sacrifice. And it hurts.