Awake

Had a breakfast of eggs and bacon at Fada on 8th.   Actually, I lied. Bacon and eggs sounds so rustic and workingman; I actually had eggs benedict, or “Oeuf Benedict” as it says so right there on the menu. She and I didn’t talk much, cause we had nothing to say. She was still enamored by the annual Forbes Billionaire list – “they’re so young how’dtheydoit I think I can be richtoo” – I think she’s curious about the process to making all that money, or more so, she feels that achieving that kind of status deserves certain admiration. I suppose I didn’t think much of it, since deep down, I have an aversion to money, or the placement of money of the pedestal of success (even if it’s the means to a greater end and what not); it’s grimy to me somehow, not quite deserving the focus that, let’s say, achieving inner peace (or outer peace, why not?) deserves. So begins our rift.

I’m starting this blog as a capture of my daily life, more than anything, it should show what I do as oppose to what I think, although I’m afraid that it will veer towards that, it’ll sink into the bog of vain introspection and exaggerated drama, psychological or otherwise. But I don’t want that. What I want is to have an accurate record of my current life, the current rut that I’m in, devoid of any real inspiration, the mundane schedule of work and attempts to rouse myself from this waking dream. Hopefully the details will show how I will be what I will eventually become. What I don’t quite know fully, but something for sure that has roots in the negation of the middle class suburbia lifestyle, or what I like to call the “asylum of comfort”.

It was the first sunny day in a while! Billburg seems to be thawing from a malevolent sleep.  I’m looking forward to getting a good amount of writing in today. So many ideas to choose from, beginning with the myth of Dad, or the hijinks of corporate life (oh that peculiar Jefferies office!), or an investigation into the quality of the juror system, or the idea that rape (and by extension this definition of evil) is actually the natural state of human/the animal.

Today today – happy to be alive cause it don’t matter if it’s all parted.