(B)East-Men
So why? Maybe it's the fact that it's such a segmented society – girls and boys don't hang out until marriage. And this separation causes, what else, repressed emotions, ignorance, and suppressed anxiety about the opposite gender.
It must be hard to travel as a woman. I know friends have had it tough in the Middle East and now, India.
The other day we met a girl who was pretty distraught and ready to go home.. never mind that she was a pretty tough Aussie who has been to Africa and the Middle East and other parts of the developing world.
Diya know, she said, that I woke up at night and a guy was climbing up to my bed in the train compartment to take a look at me?
And the other day, she said, and Indian guy came over to a group of her friends, shook hands with the guys, and, after laying his head on a girl's shoulder, reached out and fondled her breast. Left or right, she didn't say.
These are just the extreme markers in the daily breadcrumbs of traveling life as a woman. Yupno gets stared at, whistled at, and, if I'm not with her, she gets all sorts of questions like "Are you married?" ,"Why aren't you married?", "You like Indian men?", "Where's your boyfriend?" followed by sly winks and so on.
At night, Indian women may tell solo women travelers not to go out to late because it's "drinking time for the men".
Am I painting an extreme picture? Perhaps.. I think the truth is between everyday irritation and the one-off creepy situation that can involve molestation.
The same Aussie girl experienced a fright when a group of young boys crowded her and said hello – then tried to tug her skirt down.
The fact is – men stare. But here, they stare long and hard – and they continue to stare even if you stare back.. or even if you say, "What are you doing?" And here they'll casually cop a feel, or brush close.. most natural thing in the world.
So why? Maybe it's the fact that it's such a segmented society – girls and boys don't hang out until marriage. And this separation causes, what else, repressed emotions, ignorance, and suppressed anxiety about the opposite gender. Add to that bubbling pot a heavy dose of machismo and sexist traditions and you get young men who will hold hands with each other most naturally but ogle each and every girl as if she's an incarnation of his wildest dreams-movie.
Oh, and it doesn't help that Western women get a bad rap from Hollywood, too. With the cheap availability of DVDs, men in most areas of the world expect Western women to put out, just like the movies. That and porn, of course. Without much interaction between the sexes and the plethora of pornography – it's enough to make any male adolescent mind crazy.
(My apologies to India. It's not just here, firsthand look at Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, and Vietnam all yields a common perception. Thank god I'll get back to NY, where it's normal to ogle a woman only cause she's wearing a see-through blouse two sizes too small!)
Yes, I hate traveling in India...I beeline it for the mountains where my grandparents live. I have had some pretty absurd experiences.
Posted by: Preya | November 25, 2006 at 11:42 AM
Hi Preya!
Where do your gramps live? It's been weird, cause I haven't talked to any girls here, although on the flip side, some of the men have been really kind. It's just that it's a different societal structure than what I'm used to.. for instance, my travel companion exclaimed the other day: It's so nice in the women-only train compartment (in Mumbai!) – everything smells so much nicer!
Posted by: j.fisher | November 26, 2006 at 01:30 AM