Bump in the Road

It was supposed to be a very good day, and now I'm so very tired.

I was so close.

I had just funicular-ed up Penang Hill – really some amazing vistas, but hell, after Rio's Sugar Loaf, my expectations for hilltop views are pretty high.  On the ride down, I had a chance to speak with a really conservative Muslim fellow – full on chest length beard and all – and his lovely wife about Islam and how Allah thinks I would be a good candidate for the religion. Well, I thought his wife was lovely – lovely eyes from what I could tell – but her face was covered up in black. Inshallah, I said to them. And to you, they replied.

Then I made my way down the freeway to the Lok Pik Temple, which housed an interesting fusion of Thai, Malay and Indian architecture.

Then – then I was so close. The Snake Temple was just a turn away, off the freeway. So close. Soon I would be handling pythons and vipers, dazed by the heavy incense offering...

After I've had some time to think about it, there are a lot of scenarios in my head. What ifs scenarios, hindsight projecting Matrixed views, psychological musings that were never there, and not just a little bit of self pity.

What would my family and friends do if I had died?

So one braked, the other swerved, and what was I doing?

Did I think of God at all? Even for a split second?

Goddammit -- look at the mess.

A U-turn was up ahead, and so was the Snake Temple's entrance. Thank the sweet Lord, I had said. Finally. I had been driving in the monsoon rain for fifteen minutes, and soon, water would seep through my backpack and into my camera. Fat droplets bounced off my helmet and onto the concrete of Jalan Sultan Azian Shah.

That's when I saw the black Proton coming up fast. Too fast. Maybe that's how they drive here. Fast and insane. I was slowing down, ready to make the turn. The bastard's going a little fast, I had thought.

I heard the squeal of the tires behind me. Really? I had thought. Can't be cause of me? Shit. I glanced back and saw his hood about to ram into my ass.  My thought? I didn't want to get even wetter.

The heart pumped blood to my brain, like one of those dry wells in Texas that suddenly shoots up oil. I veered to the left lane as the guy whipped past. Smoke curled up from the pavement. Fuck, I had said. More of a slip of the tongue rather than anything. I didn't have time to say anything else.

It's a strange feeling to know that you're going to be hit full on by a car. An even queerer sensation when you're on a motorbike naked to the world.  And with those sensations,  I was immersed in my body, in the full awareness of the moment and nothing else.

I knew I was going to be hit as the gray sedan swerved from behind the braking buffoon and into the lane I had just turned into. Then I knew that I was being hit as the sedan made that deadening crunch into the back wheel and spun me 45 degrees. I was aware of two long seconds, very aware that I was on my bike facing 9 o'clock, and that the car at 12 o'clock was carrying my bike along, like a rag doll. 

The driver braked, and I came unstuck from the hood, careened onto the road, and found that I had lost three seconds, forever.

After I swam up from the void, then I was aware that I was hit. The honking of the cars behind, the sounds of the road, the suddening itch from my arms crept up from the lost three seconds and bit into me.  Then I rewound and remembered the crunching noise of being hit.

I don't remember ever being this mad. The words came in a torrent. I don't remember all of the words I had yelled (and I think some of them was pretty creative), but f--k, c--t, piece of something or another was the PG-13 version.  I didn't even see the driver come up to me. The words kept going, until exhaustion set in, and I felt my arms bled.

And the first thought after I got up and railed into the driver was shit, I have to go through travel insurance?

The second thought was, oh God, I hope my face is ok.

It wasn't the guy's fault, hitting me. Any good driver would know to keep going straight. I freaked about the car behind me, and swerved. You never swerve on the road. And I have some pretty gnarly fingers and arms to remind me.  And some painkillers if I want to forget a little.

I think I smoked half a pack waiting by the roadside.

o no! u ok? sorry to hear about that... is your face ok? =t hope you heal quickly~

Posted by: jojo | May 26, 2006 at 06:29 AM

Dude, listen to your girlfriend. Take care of yourself. Who else am I gonna drink Dalat wine with???

Posted by: vinny | May 26, 2006 at 07:02 AM

Stay in one piece!

Posted by: Yuppie Nomad | May 26, 2006 at 07:28 AM

Be careful!! Looking forward to seeing you guys. May our adventures involve no more stray dogs or crazy drivers.

Posted by: blowingbubbles | May 27, 2006 at 02:55 AM

a-ok. just a little shaken up, stirred and left out to dry in the baked sun.

nah. freak accident. i blame the idiot driver in the black car that didn't slow down enough. luckily the hit was soft enough where it carried me and the bike on the bumper (breaking the bumper off eventually) instead of catapulting me into the traffic.

i'm lucky to only have a couple of nasty scratches (none of the face) and a bruised ego. thanks everyone.

Posted by: j.fisher | May 27, 2006 at 04:28 AM

Glad to hear you're a-ok! Enjoy Penang!

Posted by: Sharon | May 29, 2006 at 09:26 AM

good to hear you are fine! but for the future - be safe! we like your pictures, your writing, and your adventurous character - we want you to be healthy!!!

Posted by: Irina | May 29, 2006 at 10:31 AM

ai-yah fischer! yu-no! why do you let him do such foolish things?! why don't you take better care of him and superman over to the scene and use your body as a human shield when your spider sense realized that he was in potential danger and cook better pho and sacrifice a water buffalo so the dah does not get to him...

i love just carelessly channeling nagging women of the universe.

i hope that pho did you good.

Posted by: kdawg | May 29, 2006 at 11:26 AM