git me the newspaper roll
I left work early on a beautiful gorgeous spring afternoon. I had to leave because of a bad back that was killing me – like a million small knives manned by a thousand spiders crawling into the crevice of my lower back, squeezing their way inside so that they're stabbing me inside-out. But hey, lying down in the cool room seemed nice. I'll just put on some Brubeck and I'm good to go.
I was locked out. My keys were nonchalantly on the office table, straddling two piles of unfinished proposals. But at least I got ice cream. Now I'm just grotesquely fat.
So I went to a coffee joint and wait for the roommate to come home. Great. Vanilla latte and some quiet time to do some writing. Not-so-great. Some kids then came in. 7 or 8 year old boys. Little boys who apparently have not learned the meaning of quiet voices. They began to scream at the top of their lungs – and it's not a tantrum they were embroiled in – oh no, it was just their normal voices.. but I think they were at a party where everyone was shouting or something, and they were still conversing at 1000 decibels. Little boys are such twits. I would have slapped myself if I only knew how annoying I was as a little boy.
They were climbing over chairs and knocking them over, jumping like pogo sticks to try and touch a balloon tied to the chair. But wait. There was a whiny girl too. Nope – it was just a little boy whose voice actually went really high.
Their dad admonished them as it was a Japanese place and "we all know that Asian people speak softly". "SHH. Did you see the black boys walk past? They're really tall aren't they? We shall go to the aquarium tomorrow, won't that be lovely. No, those dogs can't make babies, they're neutered. They're.. um.. they're not working anymore." Imagine all the yelling and the dialogue in a British accent.
Maybe there's a good reason to be at work late -- so I don't have to see all the whiny snotty kids running around during the day time and crackpots British stuffers, especially at my spots.
Bah humbug.