Lordy there's something in the soup

Bought a tom yum soup (second of the day) and suddenly God pops into my head. He wasn't decked out in a beard today... just sort of a white blob.

I read something the other day that went like, "The place where I belong is the place where I can't escape from..." Or something like that.

And it got me to think: the concept of heaven and hell is a pretty unfair scheme, if you ask me. Heaven, as we know, is not a guarantee. Once you're in heaven, you can be cast out (see the Morning Star episode aka the Satan myth). But, according to popular belief, once you're in hell, you're in there for the long term, baby. No getting out of hell. 

So the quandary.. or the suggestion is this: beings, whether they are humans or angels or dwarves.. beings still have the capacity for choice in heaven. You can choose to worship the Almighty and be in bliss in His/Her presence, or you can choose to be egotistical and suffer the casting out.  The same finger that pointed Adam into being can also get you a quick ticket to the gnashing of teeth and so on.  But I've never heard of any theological argument that an individual, by his choice, can redeem himself out of hell.

Sure, that's what the temporal life is for.. it's our chance to make our mark (strictly from a Judeo-Christian POV), but then let's say I succeed in this life and get to heaven.. well, that still doesn't guarantee that I'll be there for infinity... unless you believe in predestination and that gets into a whole different arena about time, space, God, omniscience and so on.

And another thing.. heaven and hell isn't just the only shaft that we get. The whole original sin is pretty messed up too. Why purposefully put a tree of knowledge there, when in your omniscience, you know the faults of your creation.. that they would be tempted and succumb to it? It's nothing more than a big tee-hee moment for the Big Guy, isn't it? And then, in His all-knowing.. knowing that Adam and Eve hid because they were ashamed, He then asks, "Where are you guys?". If they answer falsely, they're caught in a lie. If they answer truthfully (which they did -- did anyone point this out??), then well, they're fucked, thrown out of their home, made to work in cubicles and have to go through all that menopause stuff.

It's trickery, I tell ya. But another thought popped into my head (maybe it's the spices of the soup). The God of Christians and Hindus and Muslims and Wiccans and so on isn't all that different. He has the power to do anything he want, but sometimes I feel like he's a mute. Whatever his followers say - he is. If they say he wants a jihad, then by golly, he's the God of crashing airplanes. If they say he's a shepherd, then golly gee, how come the news don't publicize all the good charities that are struggling everyday around the world? When it comes down to it, as my many ex-youth group leaders and pastors like to abbreviate: God can't stop his followers from putting him in a box.

God, for all I know, is so much bigger than any of us can fathom -- beyond the praise songs in 3 chords, beyond the raising of hands to make us feel better, beyond the words that we interpret to our own wishes. So big.

And after popping into my brain as a white blob.. I saw Him again today. A kid, about three, churned his legs as fast as he can, arms spread-eagled, went crashing into his dad before wrapping his chubby arms around those big tree trunks that were standing in for legs. The man locked eyes with me and we smiled. Couldn't help it. God was there.

Wonderful post! Mankind somehow managed to turn the idea of being created in God's image upside down and managed to create God in man's image instead!

Posted by: arulba | May 12, 2006 at 01:10 PM

hmmmm...i was once talking to nadia, and she said to me, "looking around at everything you see, how can you not believe in God?" I never really understood what she said, and still i dont really understand...but, i think i can understand why she believes what she does, despite there being so many contradictions between her faith and her beliefs. i just finished life of pi, and i think this is the main theme of the book. reading what you have to say, it's a little hard for me to understand how you believe what you do, despite having so many doubts.

life is just too difficult without faith.

Posted by: kyle | May 14, 2006 at 10:02 PM

Hey Kyle,

Regarding my beliefs, I think you have to ask: what kind of God do you believe? What form does God take? Gender? Personality (any)? Faults? Actions? And so on.

Needless to say, I don't believe in a God that would torment His (I'll use the male gender as a default) creation based on wide parameters and bless them based on such narrow ones. That is, I don't think any just creator would have a concept of the Christianized hell as popular faith dictates. Just how hell as an idea came into being I'll pass over now.

This is one of my sayings: I pray with my head high, and not bowed looking at the earth.

What exactly is praying is another matter...

Anyways, not to be long-winded, faith is reserved for the unknowable, and I think I have high optimism to know *enough* to live well with God. I think a lot of organized religion (and this includes Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism) needless makes things difficult. Man created religions, for whatever the reasons, and our petty judgments, suspicions, and doubts get in the way.

Let's just say for me that God exists, but he's off fishing on Sundays.

Posted by: j.fisher | May 15, 2006 at 04:11 AM

Lovely post, it's like chicken soup for the soul, but with, like, skins and bones, like old-school third-world style.

My idea of God is me, it's all of us. My God is Grey's Anatomy and running in the park and spotting a white swan by the pond and facing the biggest question I've ever had in my life but still waking up every morning because, well, that's life.

I think both Jesus, Buddha, Gandi, MLK were all trying to point to the same dame thing: love and compassion. Because let's face it, that dude who is hitting you right now feels the same shit that you do, but he just didn't get the same story that you did. So you should love him. So take a hit, for him.

Bitch of a thing to do, but it works, I'm sure.

I think God is about Choice and Hope. It's the Beckettian Choice to go on, even when all the facts say you can't, and then God will emerge.

Like waking up knowing that, eventually, you won't.

Woo hoo!

Posted by: kdawg | May 15, 2006 at 09:31 PM

reading your latest posts i have to say you have really come a long way in your writing. i feel like more consistenly it is your voice in writing. and thats the writing i most enjoy. keep it up!

Posted by: vinny | May 24, 2006 at 02:01 AM

thanks vinny. let's have some wine when i'm back in nyc. maybe a chilean bottle?

Posted by: j.fisher | May 24, 2006 at 04:25 AM

do you even have to ask??? i am always up for some booze. even DALAT wine....haha

Posted by: vinny | May 24, 2006 at 07:32 PM