Snail Mail

In the past few weeks, I've sent off some long overdue gifts for dear friends back in the States.  As such, I've had to visit (and witness) the Vietnam Post Office. 

Imagine a behemoth, something like a hippo or a walrus, or a sea lion, in his full glory, his massive weight sagging into the ground beneath, his movements lethargic under the midday sun.  Imagine the pace at which this creatures moves – and you will get some sense, perhaps a faint whiff, of how the postal service here works.

It's excruciatingly appalling, fascinating and annoying.  Especially for someone who is used to the pace of emails, of instant messaging, of the real-time trades and the civilized world.

First, the wait. And then wait some more as an attendant directs you to the right counter. (Not to worry, this scene will repeat itself later on.)  Once you've communicated your request, there are various forms to fill out. One for US customs.  One for Vietnamese outgoing customs.  One for identification.  Each document is required for each recipient address. As I was sending 5 items, that means filling out 15 separate forms.

And after the forms, one last document that summarizes everything for good measure.

Then you wait your turn at the counter for outgoing mail. Or, like everyone else, you push people aside and elbow your way to the front.  Sidearm that lady or she'll politely knee you in the groin. Undercut the grandmother or she'll step on your face, rip out your skeleton, and pick her teeth with your broken bones. Survive the various muggings and you still have to wait for the attendee to finish her paperwork. 

Once you've made it this far, then the attendant will inspect all your forms (more waiting), opens the packages that you have so carefully taped up (this is Communist land after all), seals the contents again, and asks you 20 questions (e.g. where is this going, what is it used for, where did you get this, etc.).

Whew! Then it's all a matter of supplying your passport for verification and voila – in and out at the 60 minutes mark.

Except for me.  I had to discover the process to receive a shipment of books from Amazon.  To do this I had to:

• Be directed to the other side of the building
• Fill out a form that a) describes the synopsis of each book (I hadn't read them yet), b) their value and c) their author and titles.  The shipment contained 10 books.
• Fill out an identification form and supply my passport.
• Wait for twenty minutes or so as the lady in Communist garb confiscated some French textbooks from another man, barking to me to hold on as "this will take a while". Then she asked a guy who was receiving a Palm Pilot to turn it on... when the batteries haven't been charged.
• Open the contents to allow three mail attendees rifle through the titles.
• Pay a tax to the handlers.
• Be redirected to another attendee who copied all the information on the form I had written out on another form.
• Pay another tax base on the value of all the books (10%)
• Be redirected to the final attendee who filled out a receipt by hand for the tax payment.

All in all, to mail off 5 packages and receive an Amazon shipment, I spent a little under 2.5 hours in the post office.

But upon reflection, I wasn't doing much that day anyways.