New York

I work with a lovely cute creative director. She amuses me because she reminds me of my friend Yun. She has one of those peculiar toonlike Korean names that I like to say whenever I'm speaking to her. Yoosoon is, I think, forty years old but she still

The irony of this is that in the past days I have come close to a career decision, but at the same time, because of the months of shabbiness, I am ok with leaving frayed ends (incomplete and untidied) - train of thoughts - about my decision to go with this life or that.

I interviewed a model for a shoot today. I asked her age cause we're looking for girls 25 and up. No matter which way I asked, she wouldn't answer. "You look good" I said. "Give me a smile" I said. "25-

So I've worked a month and one week as a freelancer and haven't gotten paid yet. The secretary was helpful. "You get paid every two weeks, on the middle and last day of the month, except weekends, and in that case, blah blah..." So

- Investment banking (miserable but gadgetry is a plus) to business school to finance shop (miserable possibly) to corporate strategy to own company (failure possibly) - Investment banking (blah blah) and/or finance job to business school to public policy job in developing nations - Freelance agency producer (hand-to-mouth) to advertising

I sat and stared at the grinning ivory totem, gleaming and bare. One hour. One hour and nothing to write. All that is going on and nothing to say. I don't want to say anything. Cause I run in circles and everything that I say has already been