Thai Girls and the Men who Love Them

I've veered off on the personal stuff in lieu of some fluff but that's what you get for lying on a beach all day. Thailand is great, with the exception that I see way too many obese Westerners in skimpy two-pieces or even worse, in their speedos. They're bright as cooked lobsters and indolent as beached walruses.

Many things irk me, but none so much as the prevalent predatory relationship between Western men and Asian women.

In Thailand, for the most part, it is sanctioned both by the government and by the women to place themselves in a position to be bought, although the conditions for the pervasiveness are hard on the conscience. 

A vomit-worthy situation, oft-repeated:

A reject from Western society, who would have no chance in hell with any rational woman 'back home', cast furtive glances all around while booking a double room for him and a woman (who for all purposes unfathomable, he can't communicate with but decides to carry on the pretense of a normal relationship).

The typical guy? Bald, legs wobbling under the overhang of his gut, and that car salesman's grin.

The typical girl? Laughs easy, secondhand Western fashion, and curvy.

The typical situation? Guy comes to Thailand. Guy meets Girl at bar. Guy expects an easy lay. Girl knows that Guy expects an easy lay. Guy knows that Girl knows he expects and easy lay. Guy also knows that given the conditions of the girl's background, she's out for his wallet. Of course, at this point in the game, the girl knows that the guy knows that she knows. So what are they to do?  Girl  rubs  Guy the right way, and the guy pops a couple of beers, and off they go, like true lovers they are, loving the money and loving the sex.

The typical conversation?
- How do you like Thailand?
- What? Oh, yeah. Thailand is great! I love the people, they're so friendly!
- Oh, that's nice.
- So, yeah. Um, what do you do?
- What?
- I said, what do you do. For a living? Work?
- You wanna go to jewelry store?

It's easy to figure out what they want, you say? Guy wants ass and Girl wants money. Let them have their fun! Is that so? Let's consider all possibilities.

Let's consider the possibility that some of the guys are hoodwinked, caught in their own emotional depravity and lack of ego, and they actually think that they can buy affection from those 'exotic Asian girls'. Of course this is what they think – they can't possibly delude themselves so much to think that after twenty minutes of conversations, there can be love at first sight?

Let's consider the possibility that the girls, more than the want of instant jewelry and money, more that those sure things that they're going to get, they actually think that the guys will fall in love with them, with their 'exotic beauty' and by virtue of their stellar helplessness and personality, that they will somehow supplant the family the guy has back home, become Mrs. Hairy-German-dude, and have cute hafling babies!

God help them.

Who wins here? No one really. Who loses more? Depends on how you see it. The guy loses some cash, but he gets laid. He also confirms his cynicism in relationships and in human virtue – after all, for a few quid, he got to sleep with a girl who fawned over him.  The girl renounces her body. Then again, if she doesn't care about her body, then what's it to her – to you? Her body is a paltry trade for the possible rewards of gifts, of money, and more remotely, of a long term paycheck and even more ludicrously remote, of a relationship with *sigh* a Westerner.

Who are the victims and who are the victimizers?

I admit, I have a soft spot for the women. If their economic condition allowed them all possibilities to be independent, wealthy and secure, would they still find value in these farangs?

For the another view, here is the satirical Bar Girls' 10 Commandments.

Again, victim/victimizers?

HIV/AIDS is normal. Child prostitution is normal. Forced prostitution is normal. Sex trade is normal. In fact, all of it is so normal that Thailand is in danger of being tapped out. No matter, Cambodia is on the horizon. Then Vietnam. Then Laos. And so it goes.

The funny thing is, I see the same philosophy in the midtown bars of New York, where girls who want to be society wives clamor for guys who will always have mistresses.

[Note: I write this will full knowledge that the technorati tags below will attract some 'marginal' elements of society.. so for all you pervs out there, when are you going to grow up and be men?]

This is a difficult issue with no immediate solution. I think that in most cases, the women are the victims. Victims of an economic and political landscape that makes them resort to being in this type of situation. The men, on the other hand, have a choice.

Posted by: sanguinesmile | July 30, 2006 at 02:14 PM

I agree. but sometimes victims have to draw a line of principle (easy to say, hard to do). The men have a choice yes, but I already hold them in contempt – in many cases, the temptation of quick home runs call them in droves... like any principle of market economics.

Posted by: j.fisher | August 01, 2006 at 04:33 AM

ay, this is one of those things that has always bothered me, but what can you do

i downloaded the format, and i love the album!

Posted by: kyle | August 01, 2006 at 10:46 PM

Yeah - I love 'On your Porch' – great guitar line.

Posted by: j.fisher | August 02, 2006 at 03:03 AM

Travel should broaden the mind, so I hope you get to do a bit more of it. At present, you come across as a sanctimonious bigot.

Posted by: Donald | August 18, 2006 at 11:33 AM

Thanks for that comment, Donald. I admit - I slanted this post quite a bit.

Posted by: j.fisher | August 18, 2006 at 09:38 PM

Besides the Hairy German comment, what do you find offensive Donald? Is it just that you find it offensive or do you also find it inaccurate? I think it's the ugly truth.

Posted by: Yuppie Nomad | August 22, 2006 at 05:39 PM