Today is one of those days I wanted to listen more and talk less. And listening more made me realize how my environment was shaping me. In SF, and the tech world, sometimes I fall into this rut where every time I’m talking to people, I automatically place them in a bucket of “useful or not”. It’s a shitty way to behave.
When I was in NY in my twenties, I remembered just sitting at bars and talking to people just because they had interesting lives or experiences. It’s kind of like being on the road. Long term travel has a way of opening you up to the world and letting humanity in. Not out of any transactional motivations but just because you’re just a person floating on, gathering knowledge and wisdom and perspective.
It’s a little early for Thanksgiving, but here’s my “thanks” post: it’s a reminder of how many people have helped me along and influenced me for the better. And they’re all good friends now — who would’ve thought that would happen? :)
So, I’m thankful for all of my friends who have helped build me up in their own way. A few shoutouts for people who don’t get enough credit.
There have been a lot of strong women in my life!. Many are people I’ve worked with and learned from.. especially at my first startup.
Rosalyn - Roz was the first web developer/designer I worked with back in 2004. She got me hooked on Flickr, on udon, on yoga, on blogging, and more importantly, on opening up to the world’s experiences. She’s been such a positive supporter of all my smart and not so smart decisions. I love her thoughtful energy. And we still need to do a photo project together. Roz is a now working in tech in Denver.
Irina - I worked with Irina for one year but her influence on me has outlasted that to stretch decades. We bonded over literature - she introduced me to Murakami and Russian lit - films, twentysomething dreams and art. She’s one of those people where creativity seems to always bubble over past the usual superficiality. I miss her inspiration a lot now that she’s in the Ukraine. Irina is now looking out for gypsy caravans for me [my conjecture].
Vinny: We’ve been through a lot of adventures. Cross-continent road trips. Crazy bordellos near shady borders. Food of questionable origins. We tried to write a screenplay together. We both quit banking, both went into creative fields, found our calling in careers straddling imagination and logic — we both grew up in parallel, often using each other as mirrors for how things should be vs what they are. I’ve learned a lot from him about getting down to business and just “doing it”. Vinny also has lived the expat life and is living the international travel life that’s pretty awesome. He’s an executive for a movie studio in Los Angeles.
Shanan - I’m glad to have met Shanan later near my thirties. He really took me under his wing at Flickr where he was senior to me - was patient to teach me the ropes. But more importantly, beyond tech, Shanan expanded my horizons to civic issues, to urbanism, to politics — the see the world not just as a place to take ideas from, but as a place in need of fixing through our best efforts. Recently, he has encouraged me to be more zen, to work through my anxiety and to gain perspective. And he’s always teaching me about cars. Shanan is an executive at a tech company in San Francisco.
Christine - It doesn’t matter if we’re living in NY together and I see her every week, or like now where we live in different countries and I see her every couple of years — conversations with Christine are original and meaningful. Our lives are stretched apart, but because we have common interests in the things that matter, in the core ideas about how to perceive and chase after life (even though we’ve never really looked at it that way). Christine has always encouraged me to write more, to explore my creative longings. She’s also one of my favorite traveling companions. She has her own company/printing press to teach kids how to write creatively and to publish their own works in Hong Kong.
Kathy - Kathy introduced me to my first tech job. She’s been a terrific supporter of not just my ideas, but more importantly, encouraged me to believe in myself. And usually, empathetic words are just that, but I can see with her own actions, she lives what she preaches. She consistently punches above her age-class… incredibly intelligent, warm, and kind. She has one of the best operational minds I know, and I can never match her work ethic — it’s insane the level of effort she puts into everything she juggles: being a parent, an executive, an early proponent of women representation in industry, an involved member in NY’s civic organizations. Kathy is currently CEO of a media company in NY.
Christen - I married my biggest influencer and best friend! Christen always encouraged and supported me to chase my dreams. I quit banking in the middle of one the largest financing upswings in history to chase my angst. By following her - she was always the first to do things that I would later find passion in - my life is a whole lot better! She was a photographer way back in college, 5 years before I picked up my first shitty camera. She encouraged me to travel and see the world, she worked at startups 6 years before I got around to tech, she dragged me cross country to San Francisco — she got me into coffee. I can’t quantify all the things Christen has done.. so much good. Such a muse. Christen is working at a startup in SF.