Think Negative

Slate had a recent article about the power of Oprah: particularly how she has thrown oil into the flames of positive thinking with her shilling of The Secret as a positive way to live.  In essence, the book shills that positive thinking begets positive actions – that by thinking optimistically, you can change the world and yourself.

Call me Scrooge but bah humbug! I agree with the Slate author when he writes, "When most of us look out at the world and plan for our future, we fuzz out our vision of any failure, fluke, disease, or disaster on the horizon. Instead, we focus on an ideal future, we burnish our best memories... Meanwhile, we're inarticulate about worst-case scenarios."

When will people stop buying into all this pseudo-psycho-mumbo-jumbo self-help crap?  I must admit, I'm the harshest of critics when it comes to these books.  I cringe every time I see an entire bookstore section devoted to 'empowerment' and 'fuller, more satisfying lives'. These 'experts' – what are they, how are they better than anyone for rehashing obvious and well-worn sayings?

"Think for yourself."
"Embrace the universe."
"Success is a state of mind."

There are various strains of this infection.  Some cater towards business and material success.  "Effective living!" they scream. "Manage yourself to be a better manager!" they cry.  Then there are the pseudo-religioso crap that tend to incorporate vague and often incorrect interpretation of "Eastern" philosophies. "Listen to the silence each morning..." they croon.  "Be cognizant of the auras surrounding all living things..." they whisper.

Crap crap crap.

I suppose I first learned to hate these charlatans when my 9th grade English teacher pushed me to read The Celestine Prophecy.  Then my brother crowed over the Rich Dad, Poor Dad series.  Then I tried (really tried) to get through 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Chicken Soup for the Soul. Then I said forget it, these crap writing and crap theories aren't for me.  Even at a young age, when I read Proverbs, I thought self-help authors were self-congratulatory and a little bit full of themselves.

Powerful change!  Remarkable transformation! Better sex!  These are the modern day snake-oil salesmen.

We're all flawed, in some form or another.  And I kind of revel in that.  I mean, embrace all the wrong stuff about you -- cause it's so right!  How Zen is that?  And whatever happened to the pioneer spirit of pushing out into the unknown with only our wits, exploring the world and making something for ourselves?  The biggest problem with the self-help category is not their content but their ability to lull people into a complacence of "Hey, I'll read a book and it'll solve all my problems!"  The world doesn't work that way.

Besides, of all the people who read Rich Dad, Poor Dad – who are the millionaires?  The writer (who sold lots of books) or the kid fresh out of college who thinks that by flipping a couple of decrepit houses he's on his way to yachts and Gulfstreams and golf parties?

Irony.  For all my embrace of negative thinking, another good Slate article details the destructive power of negativity through the life of the late Rev. Jerry Falwell. While some may have the good class to say RIP to his guy -- I think that if there is any greater Justice in the universe, this guy would be getting it in the pooper.  His life has caused the country separation of church and state to wobble alarmingly towards the religious right, and his decades of vitriolic hate have spawned  innumerable battlegrounds against decent folks everywhere.

So think negative (but not too much).