At one point today, when I was standing between cleaning supplies and bedsheets (300 threadcount), there was a moment of "fuck." But in slow motion. More like: phhhhffffffff......ck.
Candice and I spent the afternoon at Target, choosing things like towels and toilet scrubbers together for our new sublet. And because we're both unemployed, each item underwent the scrutiny of price vs utility vs 'does it look cool?'. Which is perfect for her – she loves to do the comparison shopping thing. Me, I'm still stuck in my banker days where throwing down $400 for the latest pocket sized camera was just a signature. (I should really get over that.)
Apparently a couple of items missed our rigorous check (and recheck), cause the toilet scrubber came out to be $15. How the hell can a piece of plastic used to clean shit cost that much?
I was officially knee deep, squarely centered and undeniably in the next stage of my life. The tell-tale signs: moving in with my girlfriend, choosing a career and buying detergent in bulk at Target.
The idea of taking off to backpack around the world would seem weird now. I couldn't recognize myself anymore – if I looked in the mirror I would seeing nothing staring back. The me that would climb mountains and pitch a tent with strangers was clueless and bonkers among the aisles of foam mattresses and throw pillows. It all seemed very – staid.
I mean, there I was having serious discussions about which Glade candles had a better scent: "Spring Awakening" or "Fresh Laundry".
San Francisco, now that it finally hit me, is a really new start. I don't know how to write that any better. It's like waking up from surgery, unwinding the bandages and seeing a new face. The problem is, I don't know if I'm the Joker or not. New York was all angst and twentysomething exploration -- a gritty warren of dirty surprises that somehow threw me along the path to this awakening. Everyone struggled and there was no time to breathe.
In San Francisco, most people I know are settled, matured – different. At dinner tonight, the conversation bounced between sailing around the Greek isles to work as a OB-GYN to opera vs ballet to worthy restaurants for foodies. Everyone was an executive. Everyone had 'causes'. Everyone was sure of themselves. There's definitely space to breathe here, but in doing so, I have to ask myself, what the hell am I going to do now that I'm here?
It's a weird feeling when you recognize that you are unmistakably an adult, but somehow you don't really know how that will play out, or what that even means.
Slow motion. Pause.
That's why there is something called the 99 cent only store. Good place for stuff such as toilet scrubbers. And DUDE, no need to actually remember the scent names of the glade candles.....that's just wrong :)
I am finally reading the wind up bird chronicle, very good but timing might not be best as i face this decision the job. mmmmhhh......deserted islands calling.....yelling......
Posted by: Vinny | August 20, 2007 at 09:30 AM
And then the children come along. :) It's all one grand adventure - albeit monotonous at times.
Posted by: Laura | August 20, 2007 at 02:25 PM