You Don't Want to Look Down

Now the guys restrooms aren't exactly know for their cleanliness, but one thing that pisses (!) me off is the "splatterage" that is preventable in practically all restroom stalls.  For toilets it's understandable - it's pretty damn hard to aim accurately in those last few seconds when your hose system becomes a sprinkler system.  And then you get that drip that can only be shaken out.. which when trying to target a small bowl from a couple of feet above, it's understandable that there will be some misses. 

I'm talking about the urinals, those ubiquitous areas in the men's restroom where you stand upright, do your thing, and leave — the invention that allows men to utilize our hardware more efficiently than women, to be in and out quickly without the hassle of long lines (especially at halftimes).  The floor area around urinals is always crusted with yellowish piss.  For some reasons, guys don't really care if pee gets outside of the urinal area and onto the floor.  It's counterintuitive not to care since it's the area where we're standing when we go about our business.  At least for toilets, the stuff gets mostly on the rim, but for those damm urinals, the buildup of yellow carpet is sometimes downright vile.

I can go anywhere, from ghetto public restrooms to marble and glass, state of the art facilities and their floor areas are the same.  Class distinctions don't apply. Wealth has no effect on whippage behavior.  Guys just don't really have the patience to make sure everything is deposited inside before they just shake a few times, shove it back in, and go off without a care in the world — marking the floor as their territory for the next poor bloke who has to straddle the newly christened tiles.

The older the urinal, the farther away I'll have to stand so I won't touch the ever expanding area of filth.  I always wonder why they don't make that urinal mouth comes out a little further, so it can catch the "'courtesy" sprinkles and make all our shoes a lot cleaner. It seems like such a clean solution to such a dirty annoyance.